The Autistic Mom’s Guide to Growing a Healthy Baby

The bad news: being a pregnant autistic woman can feel overwhelming and unintuitive.  The good news: having a healthy baby is an evidence-based practice.

There’s lots of research on how to have a healthy baby, and you can control much of your own well-being and your baby’s development during pregnancy.  

It is possible to stay low-risk, even though most pregnancy books and care providers imply that safe pregnancies and births are more about luck.  Sometimes complications do arise, but you can go a LONG way towards preventing them.

What Happens During Pregnancy

Most people realize a baby grows in a mother’s womb (uterus) during pregnancy.  That seems obvious!  They also realize that a woman’s belly gets bigger, and that she likely eats more.  And, eventually, the baby needs to come out!

But that really ends what most understand about pregnancy (!!!)

In reality, pregnancy brings a lot more change than a growing baby.  Both your baby and his or her placenta fully develop across your pregnancy.  Plus every system in your body adapts and changes to help your baby grow and to prepare you for childbirth.  It’s much more than just a growing uterus!

Supporting this change is the key to having both a healthy baby and a safe, low-risk pregnancy and birth.

Your Physical Health is Key to a Healthy Baby

All of your systems change during pregnancy:

As you can guess, there is a lot of change going on as pregnancy impacts all of these systems.  I listed the circulatory system last, because ultimately that’s the system that does the hard work of facilitating change for every other system. 

It’s also what’s delivering vital nutrients to your baby.  The uterus is full of blood vessels, some of which empty into little “lakes” of blood that bathe the maternal side of placenta, allowing for the perfusion of nutrients through the membranes and into the placenta, which then routes into the baby’s blood vessels.  Waste products from the baby are also filtered out through this mechanism. 

Your circulatory system is handling distribution of all nutrients for you and your baby, as well as processing waste products.  It’s doing a lot.  In fact, your blood supply expands to facilitate this, increasing by some 50-60% in what’s called the physiological blood volume expansion of pregnancy.

This is so important because this is what you need to support during your pregnancy to stay low risk.  The primary way to support blood volume expansion?  Through your pregnancy diet.

In addition to multi-systems support, your body just plain needs more energy during pregnancy.  Recent research estimates pregnant mamas need around 50,000 extra calories across their pregnancy, and 96% of that need is just for your body systems (the baby only needs about 4% of the calories!).

I present this information from a more technical perspective because I know that many autistic women are, like me, motivated by understanding the research perspective. 

While being conscious about your physical health is vital, it also works well with the perspective of pregnancy as a spiritual time, or a time to focus on some personal development.  This may or may not resonate with some autistic moms, but I feel that both angles of pregnancy are important and complementary.

I have written and podcasted extensively about diet, click here to read the basics on pregnancy diet, and click here to listen to more on prenatal nutrition.  Also check out my healthy pregnancy diet on a budget post!

A proper pregnancy diet can prevent complications like pre-eclampsia, gestational diabetes, growth restriction for your baby, and more!

I know that food sensitivities can be difficult for autistic women, click here if you’d like help designing a meal plan and schedule that works for you.

Movement

Daily movement is important.  I always say “movement” rather than “exercise,” because the latter term conjures up a lot of things for people – and often they’re negative or exhausting!

Labor and birth are an endurance event (the equivalent of a 50ish mile hike!). Not only do you need to be well-nourished, you also need to be prepared to work with your baby throughout labor, which can vary in length of time (and usually longer for a first-time mom). 

Starting now with a short daily walk can help you build up to more movement, and it may also help if you’re struggling with fatigue in morning sickness as it increases your circulation.  It’s especially good if you can be outside walking a nature trail – slightly uneven terrain is good for adjusting your joints and lining your baby up for a smooth birth.

As you get used to physical activity (or you’re already physically active), you can incorporate more hiking or other exercises you enjoy. 

Prenatal yoga and prenatal belly dance are also great, especially for autistic women.  The advantage of both is a focus both on understanding how your body moves and on your breathing.  They also emphasize bonding with your baby. 

Click here to read more on choosing pregnancy exercise.

Sometimes neurodivergent women find connecting with their bodies difficult, so exercise that supports gentle exploration and understanding help you feel more comfortable.  The stretching, moving, and breath work are also good preparation for labor. 

Quantum Biology and Your Pregnancy

Quantum biology is an emerging field, particularly in relation to pregnancy and birth.  Essentially it’s looking at your health on the smallest levels – cellular and molecular.  This means you’re looking at energy.

Nourishing diet is one way we supply our bodies with energy.

Time out in nature and paying attention to circadian rhythms also help balance our bodies and restore energy.

Women (and men) on the spectrum often struggle with being dysregulated and unsure of their bodies.  Living more in line with circadian rhythms and spending time in nature can help.  Here are some basics:

Bedtime routines can help.  Also choose bedding that feels good to you.

Daily time in nature is helpful, even if you have to start slowly.  Being barefoot is also ideal, if your feet can tolerate the feel of the ground.  You can choose to be barefoot only on surfaces that feel comfortable to you.  Or, trying putting your feet into the water at the lakeshore, seashore, or in a small stream! 

All of these things help nourish your body on a cellular level, and can help you feel more regulated and relaxed overall.

9 Months for a Reason

As I shared in my post on handling life and pregnancy when you’re on the autism spectrum, you can take baby steps into all of these things.

I believe that we get 9 months for a reason!

It’s okay to take your time working up to a good pregnancy diet, getting more movement in, and finding ways to adjust your routines.

Small changes can make a big difference over time.  When you stay focused on how the evidence says you can help your baby, and choose to work on just one small step each day, you can create big changes.

Remember, if you want someone who can serve as a guide throughout your pregnancy, helping with routines, meal planning, and just being there for you, click here to schedule time with me.

Your Mental Health

Your mental health is important to your baby’s development, too.  Stress and anxiety are often part of the experience for women on the autism spectrum.  Masking can take an enormous amount of energy, and your own overwhelm can be a real struggle.

Babies benefit from pregnancies where their mamas feel relaxed, but experiencing some stress in pregnancy is not going to harm your baby.  In fact, when you feel stress and then handle that stress in a healthy way, it programs your baby to handle stress better after he or she is born.

This could mean you balance out high-energy activities with activities that restore you.  It may mean finding a calm, quiet place when you need to recharge.  It might mean stimming, or enjoying a funny movie or book.  Even enjoying an ice cream cone here and there is okay!

If you’re struggling with chronic stress, I recommend that you work to build a support network.  It may start with family members.  Or, if you’re eligible for services due to disability or pregnancy, you may be able to connect with a social worker who can help.  I talk more about some of these options here.  A doula or pregnancy coach can also help.

Taking time to relax and to journal about your feelings can be effective, too.  Journaling is powerful because you can write out your anxieties and you can also explore how it would feel if things were better.  How would it feel if you didn’t have to stress about a situation?  Giving your mind the chance to “script” that or to imagine that can help you start to see how it’s possible to move towards that.

Baby steps towards feeling better physically also help you feel better emotionally.

Does Having an Autistic Mother Benefit Your Baby?

Many women worry about being autistic and being mothers, because they worry that they won’t be “as good” as neurotypical mothers.

The latest research on neurodiverse people shows that communication between people with the same kind of neurodiversity (such as autistic and autistic) often communicate very well… and there’s a chance that your baby will be neurodiverse as well.

However, even if your baby is not, autistic mothers bring many strengths to mothering.  First, autistic mothers are often research-based, and often overcome struggles with breastfeeding and mothering because they know it will benefit their babies.

They also think very carefully about the choices they make for their babies, leading to intentional decision-making.

Many of the same things that soothe you as an autistic person: dim/soft lighting, cozy or slightly cool areas, white noise, rocking, etc also soothe babies.

Many autistic mothers also report feeling like their babies are an extension of themselves initially.  Babywearing and keeping the baby close feel right because of this, and babies generally thrive when kept close.

Of course autistic women, like any mother, can feel “touched out.”  And it’s OK to put your baby in a safe place if you feel that way (I have certainly done that when I felt overwhelmed and needed a few minutes to calm down and find a plan to soothe a fussy baby!).

I just want to share some perspectives that are positive about autistic mamas!

Don’t miss the rest of the video and articles in this series – and let me know if you’d like support!

Want personal support to stay healthy and low-risk through your pregnancy? Longing for authentic guidance to make your sacred birth dream a reality?

Click to book a pregnancy and birth visioning call with me. We’ll talk about your hopes and dreams and explore if my pregnancy coaching program is a good fit for you.